An interview with a Right Wing troll


Bottom Line: Cuss words, half-baked perspective and ignorant rant…that is the trademark identity of a troll. A troll could be either educated one or the illiterate but the birds of the same feather flock together, mostly in cyber world & social media, as they prefer to be faceless. In real life, most of us assume them to be normal till the time their intolerance, hatred & venom for contrarian viewpoints is exposed. 

Troll, Right Wing Troll, Modi BhaktAfter having interviewed almost anyone and everyone who matters and who has any claim to fame as the newsmaker, the journalist in me often felt something missing. What is that one set of disruptive newsmaker that I have not interviewed? Have I failed as a journalist to give due importance to a set of people who are covertly contributing to the socio-political network of the nation?

It has been with this thought that I decided to interview someone that is referred in the social media as a troll. But the troll is not someone who is only active on the social networking sites. No! Don’t underestimate the nuisance value of a troll in real life either. He can surface anywhere and everywhere with the trademark intolerance of a right wing. Their poor cousins are found in the left wing as well, even though much less paid/unpaid and even surviving with lesser recognition.

An educated & not paid for troll is no less dangerous than the uneducated and semi-educated paid trolls. They can twist any fact and are masters of the business of photo shop to prove a point.

Ladies & gentlemen! He we bring you to the show a right wing troll. Please give him a round of applause for the courage that he has shown in coming forward for this interview.

Ravi Sinha: Mr Troll! Welcome to the show. I appreciate that you got ready to come out of faceless identity with this interview.

Troll: Oh! Thank you. Credit goes to you. After all, you are the one to recognize the true worth of me.

Ravi Sinha: So, you mean your political bosses whom you idolize don’t recognize and acknowledge your contribution.

Troll: You bloody journalist! Don’t angry me. You don’t understand the nuisance value of a troll. I have choicest of words to say when someone talks like this.

Ravi Sinha: Ok. Ok. Sorry sir! Before we proceed for this interview I think let us draw a line. It will keep the interview healthy and entertaining for the audience.

Troll: Why not! My lines are always drawn and are non negotiable. But it is the journalists who need to draw it for their own mental peace and professional dignity.

Me: Point taken sir. So, I will not use any derogatory term like ‘illiterate’, ‘bhakt’, ‘retard’ ‘communal’ ‘linear thought’ etc and you will also restrain from abusing on this show.

Troll: You can call me all this, whatever you fee like. I don’t mind till you don’t cross my defined line and provoke me to call you ‘presstitute’, ‘dalaal’ or ‘paid media’.

Ravi Sinha: And where do you find the line that I should not cross?

Troll: You will not dare to defame or say anything derogatory against my political lord. For me he is like incarnation of Lord Vishnu. He has been sent on earth to convert India into a golden bird yet again. If you abuse my parents or me, I may still tolerate but no slang against my political lord.

Ravi Sinha: Who else is in your family?

Troll: I have a brother.

Ravi Sinha: And what is he doing?

Ravi Sinha: What will he do sir? Poor guy is wasting his life as a Left Wing troll. But no one understands or rewards him for his enterprise. I told him so many times to join me but then his education in JNU has finished his nationalistic fire. He is basically anti-national.

Ravi Sinha: Enterprise? So, you mean you are being paid for this?

Ravi Sinha: Yes! But more than the money it is my social service, my devotion, and my contribution to the nation. There are many in this troll fraternity who are not being paid and yet they work religiously. Some of them are well placed professionals in their respective fields.

Ravi Sinha: Do you have any peak season or this is a round-the-year kind of service?

Troll: Very interesting question. You seem to be a very intelligent journalist. See, we are active throughout the year but come elections and we get hyper active with over-time duty. Even otherwise, whenever our political lord faces some criticism for his policies we start working in round-the-clock shift. You blame his policies and I will make sure you face the insult and abuses.

Ravi Sinha: Why don’t you counter the opposing viewpoint with logic and sanity?

Troll: What nonsense! Journalists are actually idiots to not understand our life. Do you mean I have that much time to read and frame the answers after thorough research? Most of us listen half, understand quarter and then give back the response in double or triple. It is an art & craft in itself. It is better to scare the opponents and mostly they get lost after one or two hard-hitting comments.

Ravi Sinha: Do you have a face or you are always faceless?

Troll: It depends upon assignment to assignment and is always need-based. We are actually hydra headed monsters, one original face, other fake profile and many fake followers. You go to cyber cell to complain and most often the Internet IP address will be one public place from where many people are trolling. Moreover, cyber crime cell does not have guts to enter the premises of our political party. 

Ravi Sinha: But how can one recognize a troll? I mean how to make out who is a troll and who is not.

Troll: Cross the line and you will find out. I am omnipresent in the cyber space. Even in our real life most of the people having contrarian views prefer to be safe than sorry.

Ravi Sinha: Don’t you think Mr Troll this is intolerance to not let others have a different view point?

Troll: What intolerance? We are ultra nationalists. You better ask sensible questions. You are close to crossing the line now. Beware! I am warning you in advance.

Ravi Sinha: But ultra nationalism has historically been the genesis of fascism?

Troll: Where were you when the sickulars (seculars) and libtards (liberals retards) were ruining this country? We are determined to bring back the glory of our Vedic age.

Ravi Sinha: May be I was not born then. My mistake. Any way, but who gives you the authority to take law into your own hands? There is police, judiciary and rule of law.

Troll: Our constitution and laws are fake and should be declared redundant. It was framed by the sickular retards that robbed the interests of the majority community. We will not tolerate such laws that allow freedom to say anything or act against our motherland.

Ravi Sinha: Do you have any alternative constitutional model in mind?

Troll: We have an ideological think-tank where such ideas are shaped. They groom us and shape our impressionable minds with hard-hitting nationalistic thoughts.

Ravi Sinha: Do they give you some kind of training? I mean this sounds like a very specialized kind of enterprise.

Troll: Yes! But that is a top secret. I can share the tricks of the trade. If you are now really impressed with me then you should quit journalism to join us. I will ensure that with your kind of caliber you are groomed as a top class troll.

Ravi Sinha: No! I am quite happy in media.

Troll: Not an issue! Our support base in media is no less significant. The troll journalists are increasing day after the day. They don’t follow the news rulebook but bhakti rhymes of our political lord. Just follow our guidelines.

Ravi Sinha: Don’t you feel bad when your ideological think-tank shakes hand with those whom you are trained to despise?

Troll: Now you are yet again crossing the line. It is called pragmatic idealism stupid. Once anyone joins us we immediately revoke the anti-national tag and declare him a purified national.

Ravi Sinha: Who is your national hero? Gandhi or Godse? Please keep in mind that even your political lord claims on foreign land that he has come from the land of Gandhi and Buddha and not Godse.

Troll: That is a debatable question and it will take time before the real heroes like Bose and Sardar Patel will get prominence.

Ravi Sinha: Don’t you think that Patel or Bose are Congress leaders and along with Nehru they used to call each other comrades with left leanings and socialism being their trademark? Why is there so much of intellectual shallowness on the other side of political divide?

Troll: You will not understand all this. Indian history has been written by the sickulars and libtards. Now come back to the topic of the interview if you don’t want to be insulted.

Ravi Sinha: Ok. The way your political lord abuses the opposition one day and embraces some of them the next day for alliance, it might have been very embarrassing for you. I mean is there any shame or morality left in him? And I am just talking about the conduct in political life and not personal life. I may also ask you whether one can be Alexander at work and Chimpanzee in personal life.

Troll: You bloody moron! As^%#$! *&%@$* You are a presstitute, a media monkey, a paid journalist, a dalaal…. I will send you to Pakistan you bloody anti-national….

The interview ends abruptly. Sorry for the inconvenience…

Next: I will try to interview political orientation of another Right Wing troll.


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